Mom's Prayer

I just realized logging in to do this post that it has been 7 days since my last one. WOW! Time has flown by this last week...I'm so sorry that I haven't given you all anything for so long. As you may have guessed by now, we are offically in Baltimore. We arrived much earlier today (technically I guess it was yesterday as it is now 12:12 am here) and got settled in our room at The Children's House. We then met up with Mom and Dad Paauwe and all went to dinner together. That was enjoyable. It was a really beautiful night! Avery loved sitting on the balcony and just taking in the cool, breezy air and looking out at the harbor. When we returned back to the house, it was getting late so averyone got ready and hopped into bed....except for me. I'm not sure I can sleep...but I had to stay up to feed Avery at 11:15 anyway. She is cut off from food and such at midnight in prep for surgery in the morning. It's so hard to believe that it is less than 9 hours away now! We have to be at the hospital at 7 Am and the proceedure is set to begin at 9 am. I would be lying if I didn't way I was terrified on many levels. I think the part that scares me the worst is seeing her afterwards. I don't know why that terrifies me so, but it does. I don't think it is easy for any parent to see their child hurt. I know it is for good reason and what God has led us to to, but it will still be hard to see. I pray that God gives me ample strength. Tomorrow is the hard part, I think the next day will be much easier. So tonight/this morning I wanted to let you know that we had made it here and to share with you my prayer: Lord, I come to you with a scared but hopeful heart. Your child, whom you entrusted to Jon and I here on Earth, lies sleeping beautifully above me as I pray this, unknowing of what is about to come. Oh loving God, my love for her can not be expressed in mere words. The words simply do not exist! I know not the ultimate plans you have for this angel of yours, but You do! I do find comfort in knowing that and somehow, I know the plans are huge. Much like I knew that Avery would be different before I even had her. I know now that You, Lord God, were talking to me, revealing to me that this would be a very special child. Tonight, I come to you as the bible tells us: "Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, with prayer and thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, will guard your heart and mind in Christ Jesus". I come to you knowing that only time will reveal Avery's true and complete life purpose as you designed. And I thank you, God, so deeply for granting us the privledge of parenting this child, for guiding us and trusting us to love her as You do, for allowing us to experience and truly appreciate all that You made her to be, for the strength, Lord, you have given all of us to see things through as You desire, and for sustaining us through these past 14 months through the gift of family, friends, friends of friends, and complete but generous strangers. I know these are all Your gifts to us! Oh, merciful Lord, I ask that you place your healing hands on Avery tomorrow. That you, God, hold her head in your hands while the doctors do Your work. I pray that You will reveal yourself through a miracle for her. I pray to you, God of healing, for no more and no less. As Your child, I trust in Your plans for her; yet I am human, and mostly, I am a mother with a mountain and a sea of love and dreams for my daughter. Please give me, Jon, Caiden and the rest of those who love Avery the strength to live in Your will for her. I ask for all this in your name Lord, in the name of the Holy Spirit, and in the name of your Son, Christ Jesus. Amen. Please pray with me: "Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be the name. Thy kindom come. Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Givenus this day our daily bread. And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory, for ever and ever. Amen." Tomorrow is the dawn of more beatiful days ahead. God has led us here for nothing less. I will update all of you as quickly as possible tomorrow. Until then, please pray without ceasing. All my love and God's blessings, Holly